Hate is A Strong Word

Munchie has been in her boots and bar aka Bob & Betty for 4 weeks, I'm slowly getting use to them but have to admit that I don't like them, but do accept that they will be apart of our lives for quite some time. Over the last few days its dawned on me that this journey doesn't end when she stops wearing Bob & Betty full time infact it's just the beginning of another long long journey.

People, well family and friends treat Munchie differently since wearing B&B, I'm not sure they know they're doing it but they talk to her like she's stupid, yes granted she's only 7 months old so doesn't know the differance but it's always "oh bless her" or "oh the poor thing". Stop it, please just STOP pitying her, just treat her normally. This is difficult enough as it is without being made to feel pitied, I hate the fact that we, she is going through this, that our lives now include this hideous contraption, that I'm scared of having play dates or going to baby groups because I'm afraid she's going to hurt a child with the bar. I'm an adult and am covered in bruises because of them, just imagine what it could do to another baby.

I hate that I can't hold my baby the way I want to, I hate that when she cries I don't know if its because Bob & Betty are hurting her, I hate that she can't wear all the georgouse clothes she has, I just hate it all so very much. I hate that I spent two days this week chasing the hospital just so I could get someone to check her foot because I'd been worried sick that there was something wrong (thankfully there wasn't anything wrong, but it still hasn't stopped me worrying), I hate the whole situation.

I wish I had the words to express my feelings without them being clouded by the hate that I feel, I wish I had the strength to truly accept this situation and move on, I wish I had the confidence not to care what other people say, but above all I wish that my beautiful baby girl didn't have to go through this.