Nice And Comfy

Munchie is growing fast and over recent weeks has become increasingly uncomfortable in her rear facing car seat, she’s no longer the 7lb 8oz new born baby we brought home in the Besafe iZi Go but a very active and wriggly 8 month old. The Besafe has severed us well over the last 8 months, but with the introduction of Bob & Betty things started to get a little cramped and with the extra inches the BnB add to Munchie’s height it was time to look for a new car seat.

As Munchie is under 9kg and with the additional safety features a rear facing car seat brings a front facing seat for me, wasn’t really an option. So after lots of research and chatting to a few Mums whose babies also have Talipes, I’d narrowed it down to either the Britax First Class Plus or the Maxi Cosi Opal, but this of course was all subject to how well Bob & Betty fitted and how comfortable Munchie was.  So with a list of requirements as long as my arm we set off to Kiddicare in Peterborough to do some shopping.   

When we arrived at the car seat centre we were greeted by a very friendly sales guy called Franco, after listening to my very long wish list and seeing Munchie in her BnB he asked what type of car we had and whether it had long or recessed seat belt buckles, as if long then nether seat would be suitable. So after a trip out to the car park to check the car (which was fine) he then demonstrated both the Maxi Cosi and Britax to us. I had the poor guy switching both seats from front to rear facing and back again, changing the strap heights, showing me how the covers came off, putting them back on again, putting Munchie in, taking her out, measuring the gap between her bar and the back of the car seat, asking which car seat they sold more of and why, was he fully trained by both companies, my questions and requests just kept coming. But Franco took them all on his stride; we even went out to the car to try both seats in there.  If I’m honest, you could tell which one suited Munchie from the start, but I had to be sure as hopefully this car seat is going to last us until she’s 3, 3 and half and will see her through the remainder of her time with Bob & Betty. 

Trying out the Britax for size

After one more go of fitting the seats ourselves and a few more questions we decided to go for the Britax First Class Plus. It’s slightly wider and a little longer than the Opal which means Bob & Betty fit well, this in turn means Munchie’s legs aren’t squashed up against the back seat of the car so her overall seating position is a lot more comfortable, the shape of the seat also holds the bar level which means her boots don’t dig into her ankles.  It’s easy to fit and feels extremely secure, it’s a lot higher than her original car seat which also means she can look out the window (she loves a good nose). 

Ready for the journey home

 

It is a little tricky to get her in and out of but I think this will come with practise, tightening and realising the harness is a little awkward as the button is quite far back and the bar does get in the way but again with a little practise I don’t think this will be an issue.  Overall we are very pleased with our new car seat and as the saying goes the proof is in the pudding – Munchie slept all the way home which for her, is unheard of!

Silent Sunday 25/8/2013

Hate is A Strong Word

Munchie has been in her boots and bar aka Bob & Betty for 4 weeks, I'm slowly getting use to them but have to admit that I don't like them, but do accept that they will be apart of our lives for quite some time. Over the last few days its dawned on me that this journey doesn't end when she stops wearing Bob & Betty full time infact it's just the beginning of another long long journey.

People, well family and friends treat Munchie differently since wearing B&B, I'm not sure they know they're doing it but they talk to her like she's stupid, yes granted she's only 7 months old so doesn't know the differance but it's always "oh bless her" or "oh the poor thing". Stop it, please just STOP pitying her, just treat her normally. This is difficult enough as it is without being made to feel pitied, I hate the fact that we, she is going through this, that our lives now include this hideous contraption, that I'm scared of having play dates or going to baby groups because I'm afraid she's going to hurt a child with the bar. I'm an adult and am covered in bruises because of them, just imagine what it could do to another baby.

I hate that I can't hold my baby the way I want to, I hate that when she cries I don't know if its because Bob & Betty are hurting her, I hate that she can't wear all the georgouse clothes she has, I just hate it all so very much. I hate that I spent two days this week chasing the hospital just so I could get someone to check her foot because I'd been worried sick that there was something wrong (thankfully there wasn't anything wrong, but it still hasn't stopped me worrying), I hate the whole situation.

I wish I had the words to express my feelings without them being clouded by the hate that I feel, I wish I had the strength to truly accept this situation and move on, I wish I had the confidence not to care what other people say, but above all I wish that my beautiful baby girl didn't have to go through this.

Bob & Betty

Its been just over two weeks since Munchie had her boots and bar fitted, aka Bob & Betty.  It’s been tough going with sleepless nights, an unhappy baby and lots of tears, but I feel that finally the cloud has began to lift and my girl is back to her happy, smiley self. 

During the first few days of having Bob & Betty we questioned whether we’d done the right thing as Munchie who is normally such a happy baby and rarely cries became so sad and forlorn.  You could see the confusion on her face as she tried in vain to move her legs freely and to sleep on her side. She became so frustrated and upset with not being able to sleep in the position she found most comfortable and reassuring to her, that she would cry and cry for hours and became inconsolable at times,  it broke my heart seeing her so sad especially as I knew the reason why.  For those first few nights the only way I could get my girl to sleep was to cuddle her on my chest,  she would sleep that way for a few hours then wake and cry until finally falling back to sleep for a few more hours.

I was very conscience of making the time in her boots just as much fun as out of them, so we spent hours on the floor playing games with them, smiling and singing whenever we went near them and did the same thing whilst out of them too. But no matter what I did for the first few days the time out of her boots was the only time she smiled, you could see the sense of freedom returning and she would shrike with excitement at being able to put her foot in her mouth (I think I would do to if I could still do that). 

The days past and so did the nights (but much more slowly) and you could see Munchie getting use to Bob & Betty, she began to accept her new accessory but night times were still such an issue.  We tried so many things to help get her comfortable enough to sleep on her own from co-sleeping which resulted in my hubby sleeping in the other room and me being covered in bruises to supporting Munchie on her side until she would fall asleep to trying her in a travel cot.  All of these things worked for a few hours but no more and in the end we found that a combination of a cot bumper, a sleep sac and persistence worked best for her.  Munchie now takes her naps as usual and her night sleeping has improved greatly with her going down for 5-6 hours at a time.  She’s learnt to sleep on her side by grabbing the rails of her cot and using this to balance herself  (I have a very resourceful 7 month old!).

The support we receive from the hospital varies; the level of knowledge regards the fitting of the boots and bar is mixed.  Some nursing staff seem to know very little and look to me to answer their questions as appose to the other way round so I tend to double check everything the less knowledgeable staff do with the more experienced members of the team before leaving.  However the responsibility of making this treatment work lies well and truly at my door, it’s my responsibility to ensure I fit the boots correctly each time and that Munchie has no more than an hour boot free time a day.

I do worry that I’m not doing it right or that her foot isn’t improving as it should so every few days I take pictures in order to compare the shots to ensure there is progress.  This journey started five weeks ago and the improvement so far has been remarkable, I can only hope it continues.

 

 

Happy and smiley just as my girl should be xx

 

 

Positive....

After feeling down in the dumps about Munchie’s upcoming treatment, I gave myself a good talking to and set about doing something positive, something constructive to help me and my husband come to terms with Munchie’s pending b&b and the journey ahead of us.

Last Friday, after reading through the STEPS forum I’d come across a lovely lady inviting another user to contact her if she ever needed to talk , so I took the bull by the horns and sent a cheeky email introducing myself and asking if she knew of any groups in our local area.  After a few emails over the weekend we arranged to meet on Monday for coffee and a chat. 

I’m so grateful to this lovely lady for taking time out of her day to meet me and my daughter.  Her little boy is 15 months and is so full of life and mischief; he’s now in this b&b for nighttimes only and the experience hasn’t slowed him down one jot.  Seeing him and hearing her story has elevated so many fears about development and how to cope with day to day life with the new accessory.  She was even kind enough to bring along his boots so I could see them – thank you x

It's time to be positive, time to look forward, time to be grateful for the progress Munchie has made and to realise how lucky we are to be in a position where one day my beautiful baby girl (Yes I am very biased) will be running, jumping and playing just like everyone else.



Progress

Moving Up A Gear

The last few weeks have gone surprisingly quickly, we've become use to Munchie's cast (which we've named Peggy), use to picking her up and feeling the cold, hard weight against my hip, and we've even become use to her using Peggy as a battering ram against the sides of her cot. But what I haven't been able to get use to is the constant explaining I have to do each time we go out or the funny looks we get, but above all I haven't been able to get use to the overwhelming sense of feeling so alone.

I've started to follow a few Mums on Twitter who are on similar journeys, signed up to the STEPS forum and started to look for groups/organisations in my local area. I'm trying to find companionship, trying to ease this sense of loneliness, trying to be strong and think solely of my daughter's needs and to find ways of making our journey the best it can be for her. But every now and again, just like now I want to hide, to look for something or someone to blame.  I can't stop thinking about next week, can't stop over analysing, can't stop focusing on all the negative experiences I've read.

The part of the treatment we were dreading the most, the bit I couldn't bring myself to think about becomes a reality next week. We are currently on Peggy #3 and this will be Munchie's final cast which in itself is great news but in reality it means the treatment is moving up a gear and in my mind becomes even more restricting and far more challenging for my beautiful daughter. Next week, she goes from her cast to wearing boots and a bar for 23 hours a day out of 24. We have no idea how long this will last, it's normally 3 months from what I've read but Munchie isn't a normal case, so who knows how long it's going to take.

I'm trying so so hard to be positive, saying over and over again "it's not about me, it's all about her and her future", thinking of all the wonderful things she'll be able to do when the treatment is over. But right now I feel so negative, like a big black cloud is hanging over me taking away the sunshine, making me feel jealous of my friends and their babies with their perfect feet. Questions are spilling out of my head again making me feel dizzy, making me want to hide.

All I can hope for is that my amazing, smiley, happy little girl copes with this new journey just as well as she did with getting the cast.

Prizes, Prizes...

How is it that everyone around me and I mean everyone seems to win prizes or are the chosen customer to get that extra discount or receive a complimentary gift??  Since being on maternity leave I must have entered over a hundred competitions and giveaways and the grand total of the prizes I've won so far is...... zero, nothing, nowt, diddly squat.  Now I wouldn't mind so much if it wasn't for the fact that those around me seem to have lots of luck. A friend of mine who is also on maternity leave and entering the same competitions has won thousands of pounds worth of prizes, granted some are a little naff but others are amazing.  She's won a holiday, a weekend away, designer shoes, a make over, jewellery, countless toys and list goes on and on. 

I'm clearly doing something wrong, but what? I was at our local NCT fate the other day and as you do bought a strip or two of raffle tickets as did a number of the other girls I was with and no word of a lie, 4 out of the 5 of us won prizes and you've guessed it I was the one whose ticket wasn't drawn.  Again this could be coincidence but there's more, I'd signed up for the usual baby weaning guides as did a couple of the other mums, we all received the complementary spoons and vouchers, etc but the others also received cool bags and highchair toys along with a letter stating that they were the lucky few to be chosen at random for more gifts.  Hey, what about me?  Have I been unknowingly blacklisted from winning anything????

Do people have more luck than others? I'm starting to think so. What do you think? Have you won anything lately?